Blog Post 4: How to Find Yourself While Abroad (In the Least Cheesy Way Possible)

Before I left to go abroad, I knew that this experience was going to be a huge one for me. I was prepared to have some eye-opening experiences, and I expected everything about my life to change. However, I held fast to this belief that no matter what happened, I would stay the same. Sure, I would come home knowing a lot more about life as far as living it in a place completely different from what I was used to, but as a person, I expected that I wouldn’t need to change. I felt that I was already developed enough as a person to not need an abroad experience to help me change. But after being here for a month and a half, I've realized just how wrong I was to think that way. The change has been gradual, but when I look back at the things I’ve done in the past few weeks, I'm struck by how much has changed. I don't know if I've necessarily found myself fully, after all, I still have a few more months here. But I know I'm not who I was when I left.

So without further ado, here is a how-to guide about how to find yourself while abroad (as I've understood so far).

I know they say this to people nonstop before they leave, but as a person who is familiar with it, I can tell you wholeheartedly that you should not be afraid to be lost. I hate to be the confused American, but after my fair share of embarrassing moments, I can say that it is worth ten times more in experiential value to find your own way to a place or find your own way to do something. To try something with previous knowledge honestly feels like cheating the experience. (Note: this does not apply to everyday necessities like how to get food, or be safe, or do laundry. Take advice for these things!)

Get into difficult conversations. And I mean this in the sense of conversations with new people that are different from you, but also in the sense of new conversations with people you already know. Don't be afraid of awkwardness, because in my experience I have learned that awkwardness dissolves as long as you keep talking. The quickest way to ruin a conversation is to leave it.

Don't be afraid to try new things, but don't be afraid to say no, either. I don't know what it is about studying in a new place, but the opportunities will extend for you far outside the classroom. People have invited me to do all kinds of things, and though I’ve missed out on some opportunities, I've never felt more secure than when I’m doing something purely because I want to do it. I decided to do a bungee jump (Bloukrans Bridge, it's the highest commercial bungee jump in the world) a few weeks ago, and I've never been more glad I did something in my life. However, going into the trip, I was convinced that there was no chance I would ever do the jump. I planned to watch everyone else go, and then safely exit the bridge the way I came in. I made a split second decision to do the jump, and I ended up loving every minute of it. It was scary and crazy, and the decision was left purely up to me. And you know what? I'm so glad I didn't decide to do it until then. I didn't spend hours feeling terrified about a thing I wasn't even sure I wanted to do for myself.

If you don’t take pictures you will most definitely be sorry. And I don't mean that you should try to document every single thing that happens, or that you should focus more on documenting the experience than actually experiencing it. But I will say that memories fade, and they fade quickly. It's tragic but it's true. Take pictures so you can spark the feelings you had while taking them. And also because your family will probably be on your back about it.

And finally, keep your expectations almost entirely out of the picture. Not to say that you shouldn't have an idea of what you are getting yourself into, but I can say with fair confidence that whatever you think your experience is going to be is not what it will actually be. Don't expect things to happen a certain way, and don't be upset when they don't. Sometimes people forget what it is they are actually doing; they forget they are in a foreign place attempting to find normal. Take a deep breath once in a while. And take a good look around.