Wait, Is It Actually Possible to Do Things Alone Here?

There are moments when I look forward and think about how little time I have left in this country, and I panic a little. How could I possibly be leaving in a few short weeks? There are so many things left to do in this country, and I doubt there will be time for me to do them all. 

But then there are moments when I look back at all the things I have done. The other day, I was sitting in my room at the Nest, and I looked over at my bulletin board. About a week after I arrived in Cape Town, I started putting brochures, postcards, stickers, etc. on it, and at this point it’s so fully covered I can barely see the original orange color of the board. And looking at all the things I’ve picked up and put on that board in my time here, I had this strange feeling of how much I have accomplished in just a few short weeks. I remembered how overwhelming it was for the first few days, looking at an unfamiliar room, and an intimidating, empty orange bulletin board. And all of a sudden I realized how much I have changed since I’ve been here.

I think what’s surprised me the most about studying abroad has been the ways in which I have stepped outside my comfort zone. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but so far I have definitely surprised myself. I’ve taken several flights completely on my own (I am not a huge fan of flying so this has been an accomplishment), I have taken public transportation on my own, and I have gained a fairly deep understanding of this country. I’ve asked the uncomfortable questions, and I have definitely had moments where I have made a fool out of myself. Coming into this country, I think I wanted to immediately be an expert on everything. And perhaps that was naïve, considering how little research I actually did before coming here. But I have learned as I’ve gone, and I’ve started to form my own personal understanding of this place.

As strange as it might seem, I’ve gotten used to the constant protests on campus, and within classroom discussions, I am no longer so surprised to hear a student blatantly tell a professor that what they are teaching is wrong, or irrelevant. South Africa, I’ve learned, is so similar to the United States in a lot of ways, but at the same time it is so different. I think the constant unrest comes as a symbol of how different a period of history it is in than the United States. It’s fascinating, and I finally feel like I am beginning to find a place here. I’ll certainly be sad to leave, but I don’t think my involvement with South Africa will end when I step off the plane, back in the United States. 

Finding and Redefining Life Goals

Before I came to Cape Town, I knew that I wanted travel to be a part of my future career. I have always had this idea in my head, this beautiful picture of myself stepping off planes all over the world and seeing unique-looking animals, and beautifully historic buildings, and speaking with people who have only things to say that I have never heard before. I even knew that I wanted to learn several languages, and be able to speak them fluently; I think being able to communicate in more than one way is one of the most interesting skills a person can have. But now that I’ve actually been here for a few months, and now that I have somewhat of an understanding of what it means to live in a foreign place without the comforts of home, I think I’ve gotten a bit of a better grasp of what goals I have for my life in the future.

            The biggest difference between what I thought before and what I know now is that no sort of traveling lifestyle is going to happen to me by chance. Living successfully in this city, an in any city as a matter of fact, takes a lot of work, communication, the desire to learn, and a good spirit of adventure. If I really do want to live a lifestyle that leaves me constantly on the verge of something new, I have to start meeting new people now, I have to start living that type of lifestyle while I’m here. I don’t necessarily mean that I have to network every second and that there is no time to lay back and enjoying the flowers while I’m here in Cape Town. I just mean that everything about this opportunity, for me, can be used as a window to my future. I’ve been willing to push myself into uncomfortable situations because I know that living a life of travel means being uncomfortable sometimes. And I’ve been trying to learn as much as I possibly can about this city because I know that my life of travel doesn’t start somewhere in the murky future, but that it actually starts now. The beautiful picture of me stepping off of a plane and into a totally foreign place? Well, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve already seen that picture happen in real life, when I stepped off the plane in Cape Town for the first time.

I still don’t have definable goals for the short answer to the question of what I want to do with my life. I just know that I want to travel, and that there are opportunities for that, and that I need to begin grasping at those opportunities now. I’m already in the midst of one of those opportunities now, and what better way to live a life of travel than to begin it this way?

Blog Post 6: Final Cape Town Reflections

The city of Cape Town was founded in the 17^th century as a small port city to be used by the Dutch East India Trading Company[1]. Imperialized by both the British and the Dutch, South Africa has become a mix of cultures from both Europe and from within the continent of Africa. Today, South Africa, and, more specifically, Cape Town, has become a huge center for tourism, drawing in visitors from around the world to see its natural beauty, historical landmarks, and unique blend of cultures.[2] If you are looking for a unique mixture of both traditional and modern/Western culture, South Africa is the place to go.

It’s possible to find loads of information—like the information I presented above—about Cape Town with any simple Google search. It’s easy to read about the beauty of Table Mountain, or read the names of different townships, differentiated by the race of the people who live in them. It’s even possible to look up the history of the country, and use the culture of imperialism, racism, and inequality to attempt to understand all that there is to understand about South Africa.

But nothing compares to living here. From my few months of being in this country, I’ve learned that there is no one way to understand South Africa. Even within the group of thirteen Loyola students who came to study here this semester, there are thirteen different South African experiences. I could go to six different places, all within the city of Cape Town, and all six of these places would inspire a completely different feeling. How could I feel the same when sitting on UCT’s campus, surrounded by college students as when I’m sitting on the top of Table Mountain, surrounded by tourists? How could I feel the same while surfing at Muizenberg beach as I would while volunteering with high school students in Kensington, one of the many townships surrounding the city of Cape Town? What have I learned about Cape Town while being here? I’ve learned that it is a city unlike any other.

The last time I was outside the United States, I was seventeen, had just finished my junior year of high school, and had only a vague idea of what I wanted from my life. My dad and I traveled together to Germany, spending two weeks with my German relatives in a tiny town on the Rhine River. I distinctly remember going to Munich, and watching some random twenty-somethings surfing this continuous wave that emerged from under a bridge in a nondescript park. It was the first time in all of the two weeks that I actually felt like more than a tourist, and it was everything I wanted. But at the same time, it was tinged with this small feeling of jealousy, of knowing that I was only going to feel this way for a moment. That’s what studying abroad here has been like. There are these moments when I feel so incredible, so immersed in this place. There are moments when Cape Town feels like home. And yet there is the constant knowledge that I am only here for a short time, that this place, this experience, is only mine for so long. What have I learned about myself while I’ve been here? I’ve learned that the thing I want most in life is to keep chasing the high. I want to, at least for a while, be living life as a true global citizen. I’ve always known that I want to travel, but I think this trip, the things I’ve been able to do, and the people I’ve met have given me so many new ideas of how to do that. I’ve learned that it’s not really difficult to see the world, if you know the right ways to do it. If you’re willing to work and learn in different countries, and if you’re willing to let go of inhibitions, willing to immerse yourself in the global culture.

I think even before I left, I knew that in my near future I would want to live outside of the United States. And though this experience has significantly furthered that desire, living in South Africa has definitely given me a strong appreciation for my home country. It certainly is the little things, but those are easy to get over. What sticks in my mind are the big things. There is so much inequality here—certain opportunities available to almost everyone in the United States regardless of means are available only to the highly privileged. The United States, despite its imperfections, has been extremely good to me. Simply being born there gives me an incredible leg-up above so many other people who’ve grown up in other places in the world.

I’m sad that my semester of living in South Africa is almost over. But in my time here, I’ve learned that I was naïve to fear that my experience would be over once I left the country. As strange and perhaps cliché as it might seem, studying abroad has actually felt like the beginning of a much longer adventure. My days of travel are not over; in fact they actually feel as if they’ve barely begun.

I’ve decided to make this life my future.

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[1] Cape Town Founded, 2 April 2002. http://www.historytoday.com/richard-cavendish/cape-town-founded

[2] Tourism Department of Cape Town, 12 April 2016. https://www.capetown.gov.za/en/tourism/Pages/default.aspx

Blog Post 5: Am I A Still Tourist if I’ve Been Living Here for Two Months?

Blog Post 5: Learning To Know A Foreign City   

The City of Cape Town is situated in a circle around three main mountains: Table Mountain, Lion’s Head, and Devil’s Peak. If you stay close to these mountains, your personal safety is more or less assured. It’s venturing out into the horizon that gives you a face-to-face interaction with some of the famous crime of South Africa.

            The first time I got a real look at the city of Cape Town, I was standing against a guardrail on top of something called Signal Hill. Forming the “body” of Lion’s Head mountain, Signal Hill is a popular jumping-off point for paragliders. If you look straight up from most of Cape Town’s beaches, you can frequently see a paraglider sail gracefully off the hill and into thin air. It was a warm day, and though I wasn’t dressed for the weather, the slight change in altitude and the breeze made things comfortable. The view out toward the sea was absolutely incredible. No less incredible was the view of the city as it wrapped its way around the mountains. I think in that moment I felt as if I were standing on top of a giant map, staring down at a city that suddenly decided to make directional sense.

I was with a woman named Joan Rapp, a friend who, when they were both in college, had studied abroad with my grandmother in Paris. Just after the end of apartheid, she seized the opportunity to work at a previously segregated university as a liaison between all the universities situated in the Western Cape province. As we, two people who had never met before, stood staring silently out at the vastness of the bottom of the world, I took a deep breath and embraced the comforting silence. Joan was already giving me everything my grandmother had promised she would, just by bringing Signal Hill to my attention. 

Months before I left for South Africa, just after I had discovered I was accepted into the program in the first place, several of my relatives and friends suddenly realized the relevance of acquaintances they had living in the far off city of Cape Town, South Africa. So far, Joan is the only one I have actually met. And what a wonderful experience it was to meet her.

As we stood, Joan took her arm and made a sweeping motion along the buildings hugging the coastline below us. This area, she explained, was referred to as “Sea Point”. I realized as she said those words that if I wanted to get to really know the city I had been living in for the past two months, I should pay full attention. “Sea Point,” I whispered quietly in affirmation.

My visit with Joan was so much more informative than I expected. There is a rich, rich history within this country, and each new place I go has only further proven that. As I mentioned before, Joan first came to Cape Town just after the end of apartheid rule, and has experienced an incredibly broad range of political climates. In the car on the way from a small ice cream shop to our dinner reservation, Joan and I chatted a bit about the politics of South Africa. “It’s the worst it’s been right now,” she said quietly. Although I knew I had chosen to come to the city in a time of dicey protests and demonstrations, I was floored to hear that Joan thought things to be so bad.

 Shortly after my visit with Joan, my mom flew into the country with one of her friends from college. We began our adventure at Kruger National Park, a national park roughly the size of the Netherlands and situated in Mpumalanga, a province on the eastern side of South Africa. It was a fabulous experience, and we saw so many animals I had never imagined possible to actually see in the wild. But as our plane set back down in Cape Town, I remember breathing a sigh of relief. I don’t think I knew until that moment just how extensive this feeling of being at home in Cape Town had become.

I think the best part of my mom being here was twofold. For one thing, I was enamored with the fact that for the first time, I had someone who was truly and shamelessly interested in doing tourist activities. We rode in a hop-on/hop-off bus, went to a place called “World of Birds”, and I took my second tour to the Cape Point (the most southern place in the continent of Africa), and my second tour of Robben Island. Her hotel was even in a place called the V&A Waterfront, one of the most tourist-centered locations in the city. Created originally by the Dutch East India Company as a small port used strictly for trade with ships sailing to Eastern Africa and the Far East, the V&A has actually become an extremely developed place, housing a large selection of restaurants, trade shops, and a wide variety of marine tour centered activities.^[1]

But for another, having my mom here reminded me of just how much I have adapted myself to make this place my home. In several blog posts before I have highlighted a common theme of wanting to know more about this place. For a while, I felt so lost in a sea of information. I felt as if I didn’t know this place, and that I never truly would. But in all the information thrown to me as I pretended to be a tourist with my mom and her friend, I found myself surprised at how much I did know. I think it’s safe to say that a lot of the information I received in the week I spent with my mom only supplemented the base of knowledge I had already formed.

I do know this place. I know it in a way that is completely personal and completely individual. And I think that’s the best way to know it.

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[1] V&A Waterfront Cape Town, “History,” V&A Waterfront Cape Town. Accessed: 31 March 2016. 

            

Blog Post 4: How to Find Yourself While Abroad (In the Least Cheesy Way Possible)

Before I left to go abroad, I knew that this experience was going to be a huge one for me. I was prepared to have some eye-opening experiences, and I expected everything about my life to change. However, I held fast to this belief that no matter what happened, I would stay the same. Sure, I would come home knowing a lot more about life as far as living it in a place completely different from what I was used to, but as a person, I expected that I wouldn’t need to change. I felt that I was already developed enough as a person to not need an abroad experience to help me change. But after being here for a month and a half, I've realized just how wrong I was to think that way. The change has been gradual, but when I look back at the things I’ve done in the past few weeks, I'm struck by how much has changed. I don't know if I've necessarily found myself fully, after all, I still have a few more months here. But I know I'm not who I was when I left.

So without further ado, here is a how-to guide about how to find yourself while abroad (as I've understood so far).

I know they say this to people nonstop before they leave, but as a person who is familiar with it, I can tell you wholeheartedly that you should not be afraid to be lost. I hate to be the confused American, but after my fair share of embarrassing moments, I can say that it is worth ten times more in experiential value to find your own way to a place or find your own way to do something. To try something with previous knowledge honestly feels like cheating the experience. (Note: this does not apply to everyday necessities like how to get food, or be safe, or do laundry. Take advice for these things!)

Get into difficult conversations. And I mean this in the sense of conversations with new people that are different from you, but also in the sense of new conversations with people you already know. Don't be afraid of awkwardness, because in my experience I have learned that awkwardness dissolves as long as you keep talking. The quickest way to ruin a conversation is to leave it.

Don't be afraid to try new things, but don't be afraid to say no, either. I don't know what it is about studying in a new place, but the opportunities will extend for you far outside the classroom. People have invited me to do all kinds of things, and though I’ve missed out on some opportunities, I've never felt more secure than when I’m doing something purely because I want to do it. I decided to do a bungee jump (Bloukrans Bridge, it's the highest commercial bungee jump in the world) a few weeks ago, and I've never been more glad I did something in my life. However, going into the trip, I was convinced that there was no chance I would ever do the jump. I planned to watch everyone else go, and then safely exit the bridge the way I came in. I made a split second decision to do the jump, and I ended up loving every minute of it. It was scary and crazy, and the decision was left purely up to me. And you know what? I'm so glad I didn't decide to do it until then. I didn't spend hours feeling terrified about a thing I wasn't even sure I wanted to do for myself.

If you don’t take pictures you will most definitely be sorry. And I don't mean that you should try to document every single thing that happens, or that you should focus more on documenting the experience than actually experiencing it. But I will say that memories fade, and they fade quickly. It's tragic but it's true. Take pictures so you can spark the feelings you had while taking them. And also because your family will probably be on your back about it.

And finally, keep your expectations almost entirely out of the picture. Not to say that you shouldn't have an idea of what you are getting yourself into, but I can say with fair confidence that whatever you think your experience is going to be is not what it will actually be. Don't expect things to happen a certain way, and don't be upset when they don't. Sometimes people forget what it is they are actually doing; they forget they are in a foreign place attempting to find normal. Take a deep breath once in a while. And take a good look around.

Blog 3: Starting School and the Homestay

Things in Cape Town are beginning to feel normal. Not the country itself and all the things I am learning, but I feel like I finally have a routine to follow. I know where the essential things are, my apartment feels like home,  and I have finally settled into classes. Last week, because it was add/drop week for UCT, was a bit hectic. After five full days of wandering confusedly into classrooms and half-listening to lectures in classes I wasn't even sure I would keep or drop, it is an enormous relief to know that all of my classes are settled. In an uncharacteristic of me fashion, I at the last minute decided to switch out of my pre-approved philosophy course and attempt to switch into an additional sociology course. Though it required a bit more interaction with the ridiculous bureaucracy that is UCT’s add/drop process, I am extremely glad I chose to do it. From the first day I attended the class, the material was new and fascinating and almost entirely from the perspective of Africa, which is exactly what I had hoped to gain from an academic experience in another country. Coming to a continent with a history so different from my own country of origin makes the opportunity to study here that much more fascinating; I want to know so much more about the history and experience of Africa as a whole.

One thing I have noticed about the classes I am taking here is that they seem to overlap a great deal with the sociology courses I have taken so far, despite the fact that they are not related to the sociology department, and will not count for sociology courses when they transfer back to Loyola. For instance, my theology class, entitled “Religion, Sexuality, and Gender”, reminds me so much of a gender studies class I took two semesters ago at Loyola. I suppose it has to do with the fact that we are covering gender and sexuality, but it just surprised me how easily religion (theology) and sociology overlap. Perhaps I simply picked the right major that overlaps with a bit of everything.

Aside from school, every so often I catch myself doing something and I briefly realize with absolute incredulity the uniqueness of this study abroad experience. This has happened several times when I've been staring at some beautiful bit of nature (namely, the mountains or the ocean), but it also occurred to me as I was riding home after the homestay. It's difficult to explain without sounding somewhat ignorant, but there are some things about this place that are just so…Africa. The city of Cape Town to me isn't that different from what I am used to at home, but the townships just outside the city are almost every stereotype of Africa that I have ever known. They're little tin shacks backed up against chain link fence and the highway, they’re skinny dogs wandering around begging for food, they're kids with their pants around their ankles, peeing innocently in the street. They're more endless amounts of garbage in the road than I've ever seen, and they're diverse populations of skin tones, with the exception of any variation of white. I looked out the window of a cab once, and I saw what I honestly believe I have seen in the few movies about Africa I have watched: backed up against the sunset was a large group of black adults (they use race as a descriptor much more freely here, and I believe it necessary to do so to demonstrate my point) walking home from work. Many were barefoot, and to walk amongst the grassless dirt and trash was as natural to them as breathing. Mind you, I was in a cab with my two friends who were sleeping away the drive, so I could not sa anything, but in that moment I truly remembered for a second that I was in the continent of Africa. It was a strange and awe-inspiring experience.

The homestay experience in the township to me was very much like this. Although the place I stayed reminded me more of my grandmother’s house than a house in a poverty-stricken township, there were certain moments that I had to take a step back for a moment and remember exactly where I was and what I was doing.

I think this sums up my experience in Africa so far: a series of ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like I'm just a town away from home, with insignificant differences such as not carrying my favorite brand of cereal in the grocery store. Other times I feel completely in this place, I feel completely at awe at the fact that I am meeting people who grew up in places like the Congo, and doing things like elephant walks. It's an interesting way to feel, and something I don't think I will ever get used to as long as I am here.

Blog 2: Settling In

I am approaching the two week mark of being in the city of Cape Town, and I can say that my feelings have certainly changed from my last blog post. I'm feeling a bit more comfortable, a bit more settled in, and it has become easier to get used to living in this place. There are still things that I miss about home, but these things are no longer at the forefront of my mind. Instead I am learning to feel intrigued about every aspect of this new place and new culture I must become familiar with, and I am excited to see what the next few weeks have in store.

I think one of the biggest things that is difficult for me is knowing so little about the actual history of this place. I like to think that I knew more about South Africa than the average person when I went into this semester, but I still have so little idea of everything that has happened to the people here and even how recent some of the tragic history really is. It is so interesting to be in Africa, to see things such as one-room houses made out of tin, and segregation more intense than anything I have ever seen in the states, but every time I see something I find my mind grasping at straws, relying only on a sense of the word “Africans” and pictures I have created in my imagination. I want to know why and how some of the things in South Africa happened the way that they did, and I want to know the relationship between this country and plethora of other countries sharing this continent. I want to know why colored people (people of mixed-race), typically don't look anything like me (I am mixed-race). I want to know how deep the segregation really does still go in the mind of native South Africans, and if seeing only people of the same race together is or is not exaggerated in my mind.

The other day I was speaking with a mentor from ISA (the program through which I am studying) and he began speaking about Hout Bay, a place only about a thirty minute drive from where I am living, and how it had recently declared itself independent from South Africa in order to continue using the racial segregation laws. Hout Bay is one of the most beautiful places I have seen so far in this country, but to think that it is a place still abiding by archaic laws, and to think that there are still people in this country who believe in such racist ideals makes me feel very strange. I wouldn't say it turns my stomach—I have such a difficult time believing that this information is even true—I just don't know what to feel. It is information I am trying to process with such a limited understanding of this foreign place.
Although the process of registering for classes is more complicated and difficult than any experience I have had so far at Loyola, and although after two weeks I still do not know exactly what classes I will be taking, I am looking forward to the start of school. I want to learn about this country in the words of people who actually live here, who have actually lived South Africa. Being part sociology major, I find it so fascinating to think about all the things the people here think about and use to understand this world; although I get the idea that most South  Africans hate Americans I would truly like to know what their  ideas about who we are actually are. I can definitely understand the stereotypes and how these ideas of Americans would paint a negative picture of our culture, but I am very curious to understand their ideas of themselves compared to us Americans. After all, we have a somewhat similar history of segregation to South Africa, and when compared I think it would be interesting to examine the differences between what happened to them and what happened to us. Perhaps because they are in a different stage of development in their country comparison would be difficult but I really just would like to know what the South Africans think about segregation in their own country compared to the extreme decrease in segregation in the United States.
I think the biggest change between last week and this week is my gratitude and appreciation for this opportunity. Other than the absolute raw beauty of this country, I am so grateful to be able to expand my mind to such new horizons, even though it has been difficult. I hope that at my next blog post, I will have learned something new and fascination about this country’s rich history that I can share.